Tracee Ellis Ross has long been a symbol of confidence, self-possession, and unapologetic femininity in Hollywood. Now 52, the award-winning actress and daughter of legendary singer Diana Ross made headlines after a candid conversation on the ‘Michelle Obama: The Light Podcast.’ Alongside former First Lady Michelle Obama and her brother Craig Robinson, Ross opened up about love, life, and dating younger men and her words quickly drew criticism from comedian Corey Holcomb.
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Potentially Toxic Masculinity in Older Men
Ellis Ross explained she often dates younger men not because of their “hot bodies,” but due to a deep-rooted societal issue: toxic masculinity in older men. “A lot of men my age are steeped in toxic masculinity,” she said. “They’ve been raised in a culture where there’s a particular way a relationship looks. Anything that smells of that, for me, is off the table.”
She shared her past experiences of being treated like a “possession” or “prize” and made it clear: “I did enough of that. I will not do it again. I’m sorry. No.”
Wave of Support for Tracee Ellis Ross
Ross’ comments sparked a wave of support from women who related, especially successful Black women balancing love and ambition. Many praised her transparency and her declaration that she isn’t “waiting to be rescued.” She added, “It’s a fascinating adventure out there. I think there’s really good men out there.”
She also described herself as a “unicorn of a woman,” knowing her value and choosing to live fully, even while single. “I’m moving up on what I’m looking for as a match,” she noted. “I’ve really learned to enjoy life and not sit around waiting.”
But not everyone was supportive.
The Corey Holcomb 5150 Show
On his YouTube show The Corey Holcomb 5150 Show, 56-year-old comedian Corey Holcomb unleashed a controversial response. Though he began by claiming his comments were just jokes, Holcomb’s rant quickly escalated. He mocked Ross’ appearance by flashing unflattering photos behind him, then took aim at her dating preferences, while laughing hysterically.
“Tracee Ellis Ross can get it,” he said. “But your best years are gone. You have to date the puppies to get attention.” Holcomb continued, “After those young boys smash and go around the block with you a couple of times, you’ll start stalking them.”
However, his harshest critique accused Ross of “stealing from young men’s futures,” referencing her age and inability to have children. He ended by implying that younger men only date older women for status and money, because there couldn’t be anything else they could want from an older woman.
Social media was swift to react. Many called out Holcomb for misogyny, ageism, and the double standards Black women face when it comes to dating, success, and self-expression.
The Tension Between Success and Love for Black Women
Tracee Ellis Ross’ interview and Holcomb’s backlash highlights a deeper cultural issue: successful Black women are often forced to choose between a thriving career and lasting love. However, societal expectations rarely make space for both. A woman like Ross, who has built an empire of her own, is often seen as “too independent” or “too much” by men who feel threatened by her strength.
While men are praised for ambition, women, especially Black women, are penalized for the same traits in romantic relationships. This leads many to remain single or explore relationships outside traditional norms. Ross’ decision to date younger men reflects a rejection of outdated relationship models in favor of freedom, fun, and equality.
Consequently, her words resonate with a generation of women refusing to shrink for the sake of companionship. The idea that women must trade love for power is one Ross, and many like her, are openly rejecting.
Why Corey Holcomb’s Comments Hit a Nerve
Holcomb’s podcast appearance touched a nerve because it echoed the very problem Ross was addressing. Older men who ridicule women for their independence or for aging while ignoring their own flaws perpetuate the same “toxic masculinity” she criticized. The comedian’s “jokes” were less about humor and more about policing women’s choices.
In contrast, Ross’ comments celebrated autonomy, maturity, and self-worth. She didn’t attack men; she described her boundaries and values. Her honesty was refreshing in an industry where women are often pressured to conform.
A Cultural Shift Is Underway
What’s clear is that Black women are rewriting the rules of dating and relationships. From Issa Rae’s quiet wedding to Tracee Ellis Ross’ dating revelations, more women are living by their terms.
And furthermore, they’re not apologizing for it.
Ross isn’t bitter or broken, she’s simply done being someone’s trophy. She’s not looking to be saved, she’s choosing joy, whether or not it comes with a ring.
